And then there were two

I adore my nephew.  I would give my life for him because I love him so and because I’ve no children of my own, he is the closest I’ll ever come. (I’m no weirdo.  I do not – nor ever have – fantasized or pretended that he is MY child.)

My nephew needs a sibling.  He is, because of all of us who love him, a spoiled boy and would do well to have a life-long buddy with whom to share everything with.

My sister and her hubby have been working on it for some time and as much warmth as it gives me to say she shared last night she learned yesterday morning is 6 1/2 weeks pregnant, I am equally (as usual) as heartbroken.

She was terrified to tell me.  But we are sisters and she knew she had to share her news.  In terms of our family, she & I pretty much only have each other.  

She told me in a panic.  By sending me a text message which included the sonogram photo and an apology for delivering the news that way but admitting she didn’t know how to do so.

I was 10 minutes away from meeting a friend for dinner.  Which I can now tell you is not enough time to recover from the shock.  

I know she didn’t mean to hurt me.  I believe 100% she had no idea how to tell her only & big sister that her dreams of adding a sibling for my nephew are coming true, while my heart aches for even one child – an ache that cannot be fulfilled.

I know I will love and spoil the new baby.  I know my heart will hold lots of pride for him or her. 

But I also know my heart can not be filled by my sisters wonderful news.  Her news that where there was one, there are now two.

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3 thoughts on “And then there were two

  1. It’s tough when someone else manages to do it so easily. I ended up defriending a few people because of it, but you can’t do that with sisters. I guess short sharp shock is the easiest! But I really feel for you. Now I know that my sister is doing the same, I feel worried in a way that she will beat me to it. My brother already has. I’m the oldest and I wonder if it will ever happen for me. So I really do sympathise with you. I’m sorry. I hope it happens for you this year. X

    • Thank you for your comment, Nara. Unfortunately we have exhausted all of the options we were open to or able to afford. I will never be a mother. I want to be angry and hurt by the shock in my little sisters choice of presentation of her announcement to me, but I know she was in a complete panic for how to tell me, knowing it was going to break me, no matter how the news was delivered. As sorry as I often feel for myself, I HATE the realization of how my inability to have children has taken joy out of more than only my life…..I wish you the best in your journey.

      • Oh, I’m sorry that you reached this point. And I don’t think there’s a “right” way to respond to news. It’s really dependent on how I feel at the time, but I’ve definitely responded badly in the past. I hope that you are able to enjoy some part of being an aunt. (I know first hand that it’s hard.) X

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