Here’s the thing….there are three types of people who ask how I am.
1. The person who doesn’t really care, but asks in a socially appropriate conversational way.
2. The person who cares, but has a preconceived expectation I should or will answer in a certain way.
3. A person who cares.
If you are a person who falls into any of these categories….stop asking. And here’s why….
Person from #1: It’s not that you aren’t polite and simply being conversational, it’s just that I KNOW you don’t actually care. So as much as society thinks it’s polite, it is more a waste of your energy and mine to respond than it is worth in politeness points. Be original. Ask what I think about the weather, or the like.
Person from #2: Quite the opposite of person from #1, I know YOU care. But I also know how awkward it will be if I answer truthfully. I know because I see your fear when you ask the question. You are hoping that if I am not okay, that I will lie and say I am. Most folks do, don’t they? So, avoid the awkwardness and the burden it will put on us both, just don’t ask.
Person from #3: Of all of these people, you care deeply. I know you do. I feel it. I wish you wouldn’t ask how I am either. Because you should already know the answer.
I realize the request makes me the bad person, the bitch, the whatever….but I think the point is, if you don’t want to know the truth, the real answer to the question, then don’t ask.