I have no life

I feel like life has been taken from me because I am not able to create a life.

Where do you find the strength to find a new purpose in life when the only purpose you knew was to be a Wife and a Mother?
How many hours of wasted time and energy we have collected when we realize the one thing we’ve been working for will never be within our grasp.
What a sadness to know the best thing that was ever going to happen to us has already happened?
When someone references that “bigger plan” theory….I think “have you lost your ever-loving mind? What bigger plan, besides death, could possibly await us?”  
We could hit the lottery, retire early and travel the world, but we’ll never have children to share the photos with.  
We could inherit a beautiful piece of land and build a dream home….but to whom would we leave it?  
There are many upon many people who live child free.  They live happy and wonderful lives.  And yet, for those who did not chose this way of life, for those who were dealt a different deck of cards, I simply cannot understand how to move on.  I was meant to be a Mother and my husband, a Father.  How can we possibly live a life and call it “full” when it will never be? What a lie it would be.
I am angry.  I am sad.  I am many things.  But I am NOT a Mother.  

One thought on “I have no life

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